Whatthefuckever

I changed everything for you, gave up my entire life, and you don't even notice or care.

Maybe I show you nothing but love from now on and OH WAIT.
I give it a month before you ruin me like everyone else

That feeling

When you realize your life is unbearable and nothing you can do will make it better.

Spotify

So, I'm using spotify, ands it's bringing back ALL KINDS of awesome memories.
Example


I havent heard this song in years and I still know all the words.
What freaks me out though is seeing the year albums I've loved came out.
AFI's The Art Of Drowning came out in 2000!? I feel so damn old. Also, they've put out like 6 albums since I stopped listening to them! Woah.

This pretty much explains how I feel right about now.

Empty.
Alone.
Useless.
BORED.


I crave adventure, drama, parties, youth, dancing, and loud music on my friday night. I guess I'll be getting all of that, but not really in the way that I want. No, what I really want, what I REALLY REALLY want, is to be 17 again. I miss my friends, almost all of whom are gone. I miss my car, as much of a fuckface that it was. But most of all, I miss having a bright future. Being grown up sucks. Anyway, here's the video that describes so well how I feel. The song is from an 'internet friend' of mine. I just sold him a reverb.




EDIT:
Now I know why I keep this blog. Reading my own words of how upset I was makes me feel better about how upset I am.

Life

I love my new life.
I miss my old life.
I'm broke. Like, REALLY broke.
I feel so suffocated, and so free at the same time.

I just feel like I never know how to act or what to say for more than a few days. For once, I just wish I wasn't always wrong.

"Hey what's up?"

"Oh you know, the usual. Wallowing in loneliness in a room full of friends, missing people I will hardly see again who probably don't give two shits about me and doubting the emotions of myself, what's up with you?"

"Pretty good thanks. Hey can I borrow twenty bucks? I'll pay you back (the)next week (after christmas), I swear."







I feel like no one ever listens to a word I say. Everyone is too self absorbed to pay attention to me. Which makes me self absorbed too. Is it wrong of me to crave at least a little attention? Aren't I important too?

A Dog At Her Feet

This is a tricky subject for me to address.
So I won't.




Also; ZOMFG animal hoarders!!!