Theres a first time for everything...

3 months in

To this whole marriage thing. Its wonderful, it truly is.
But whats amazing is hoe quickly and suddenly depression can wrap its hands around your throat one day, then just disappear.

Can't believe I'm updating this blog.
Depression has been dealt with and neutralized, anxiety is under control. Buying a house and getting married. WIN.
End transmission.

Again?

So here we go. Life is generally good. Today is friday, and my third day of calling off of work. I fear my job so badly. I freak out at the thought of going there so bad that I want to puke. I wish I cuold be jobless again really, it was nice doing nothing but noise with my life. Now, I DO have a new job lined up, as a janitor for a school system of all things! I AM worried about a few things, namely paying this months rent. I HAVE to go into work tomorrow, and I am not thrilled about that at all. At least I can explain to them what's going on. Which is this: I, again in the month of march, cannot handle life. Things are difficult to say the least, with money, school, work, and living arrangements. I'm on anti-depressants again, and am supposed to start consoling. It doesn't bother me though. I, again, feel good about getting the help I need. Last year's problems seem so minuscule in retrospect. I can't beleive I haven't been to work all week, what the fuck? God, I hope I get this new job. I feel like I'm slipping back into something that's very very hard to get out of. Not going anywhere all makes it really easy to do. Even now, thinking about how I'm just sitting at home wallowing in misery makes me depressed as fuck. Shit tyrone. I need to get it together.

Whatthefuckever

I changed everything for you, gave up my entire life, and you don't even notice or care.

Maybe I show you nothing but love from now on and OH WAIT.
I give it a month before you ruin me like everyone else

That feeling

When you realize your life is unbearable and nothing you can do will make it better.

Spotify

So, I'm using spotify, ands it's bringing back ALL KINDS of awesome memories.
Example


I havent heard this song in years and I still know all the words.
What freaks me out though is seeing the year albums I've loved came out.
AFI's The Art Of Drowning came out in 2000!? I feel so damn old. Also, they've put out like 6 albums since I stopped listening to them! Woah.