This pretty much explains how I feel right about now.

Empty.
Alone.
Useless.
BORED.


I crave adventure, drama, parties, youth, dancing, and loud music on my friday night. I guess I'll be getting all of that, but not really in the way that I want. No, what I really want, what I REALLY REALLY want, is to be 17 again. I miss my friends, almost all of whom are gone. I miss my car, as much of a fuckface that it was. But most of all, I miss having a bright future. Being grown up sucks. Anyway, here's the video that describes so well how I feel. The song is from an 'internet friend' of mine. I just sold him a reverb.




EDIT:
Now I know why I keep this blog. Reading my own words of how upset I was makes me feel better about how upset I am.

Life

I love my new life.
I miss my old life.
I'm broke. Like, REALLY broke.
I feel so suffocated, and so free at the same time.

I just feel like I never know how to act or what to say for more than a few days. For once, I just wish I wasn't always wrong.

"Hey what's up?"

"Oh you know, the usual. Wallowing in loneliness in a room full of friends, missing people I will hardly see again who probably don't give two shits about me and doubting the emotions of myself, what's up with you?"

"Pretty good thanks. Hey can I borrow twenty bucks? I'll pay you back (the)next week (after christmas), I swear."







I feel like no one ever listens to a word I say. Everyone is too self absorbed to pay attention to me. Which makes me self absorbed too. Is it wrong of me to crave at least a little attention? Aren't I important too?

A Dog At Her Feet

This is a tricky subject for me to address.
So I won't.




Also; ZOMFG animal hoarders!!!

Blogs

I read her blog today, I guess I wasn't the only one who was sad sometimes.
It actually makes me feel better. She's human too. She has problems. She cries too. Hell, probably more than I ever did.
I used to be terrified of ever seeing her again, but now I sort of miss her. I kind of want to be friends now. There are still things I say that I know she would think were hilarious.
=\

UPDATE:
things are great.
I'm in love with a wonderful girl. I got an iphone (herp), a decent job, a synth that I love, and etc etc etc

life is good now

in september we're going to new york to see hip hop.
here's a video





yeeeeeeeah

WELL

It's been a while since I've posted huh?
Life is awesome right now. New job that isn't so bad, sold my car, got my settlement money, and got a new girrly who I fucking adore!!
Look how cute:



Anyway, now I just need to move. I stopped taking my medicine and I feel good about it.

For the first time in months, everything is going awesome. It's like right when I was at my breaking point the universe fixed everything.